For many of us, feeling a sense of self-assurance doesn’t always come easily. Even if you feel a natural confidence in the workplace, at home, or among your friends or family, it’s easy to let self-doubt and negative talk have its way with our paths to success. When it does, or when you find yourself slipping into doubt, try focusing on the things that we can do for ourselves to show up and feel assured and appreciative for our own unique abilities and qualities. Here are some of my favorite ways to channel that positive, confident energy.
Visualize Your Accomplishments
Take a moment and consciously call to mind some of your past successes in both your personal and professional life. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? What did success feel like to you in those moments? Paint a mental picture for yourself and then take a few notes and come back to them when you need a confidence boost. It is also helps to pay attention to the successes of the people that you admire. What made them seem successful to you? Visualize their accomplishments as within reach and achievable to you.
Banish Negative Self Talk
“What if I had…” “I wish I didn’t say….” We all fall victim to negative self talk and spend a lot of time and energy ruminating over what (we think) went wrong. Our inner critic plays these stories over and over again. The cost of this kind of rumination is that it keeps us from moving forward. To get out of that space and move forward: Reframe and choose a new perspective. What if you replayed the situation from the perspective that it went brilliantly well? What does it look like now? What would you say to yourself? (Hint: You can make it up!) Reframing creates a new wiring of a positive experience, thus allowing you to release the negative charge and move forward into a brand new space.
Embrace Your Perfectly Imperfect Self
Perfectionism is a huge confidence killer and can stand in the way of your success. For example, many times we counter lack of confidence with over preparation. This path is actually quite time consuming and counter productive. You’re holding yourself, and potentially others, to an unreasonable standard. Women in particular spend too much time working and reworking our work, missing opportunities to iterate. Trust that you have the right level of knowledge to start conversations. Ask for feedback, test ideas, or visit a trusted colleague’s office—don’t skip over these essential steps. It’s critical to find the balance between great work and perfect work. Be known for your strategic thinking and not for an unyielding adherence to perfectionist ways.
Take Inspired Steps to Get What You Want
What’s holding you back from getting what you want in your professional and personal life? Is it going after a challenging job, seeking a board position, moving to a new region, or starting a relationship? Get curious about it! First visualize the what. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” From there, start to fill in the how—“How will I get what I want?” Identify one inspired step forward. “What would it feel like to accomplish this step?” Ask a trusted colleague or friend to hold you accountable to this. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be overwhelming. Tapping into our most confident self enables us to take a step forward, and do so in an inspired way. This is the difference between being stuck somewhere and getting what you truly want in life.
Show Up For Yourself
How you show up for yourself is directly related to your confidence. Often times, “being” is one of the most important things you can do for yourself throughout the day. For example, I like to set my intention at the start of each day. Every morning, I ask myself these two questions: “How do I want to show up today for my clients and the people in my life?” “What are the three most important things I will do to call it a successful day?” Begin there; and even after you leave the office, whether it’s on your commute home or before you drift off to sleep, identify three wins that made it a great day. Intent and focus will increase your confidence and keep distractions at bay.
There are others things you can do throughout the day to boost your confidence. Consciously chose to show up as your authentic self, plug-in to coworkers who inspire you, walk into a meeting with a smile, or simply wear your favorite outfit on a challenging day. Additionally, there are simple self care tips that can make a difference: A 10 minute meditation break to quiet the mind, a walking 1:1 meeting to shift your energy and a healthy lunch to nourish your body. This combination of doing and being will keep your vibration and confidence levels at a high.
